


Peaceful the Knives

by der_tanzer



Category: Riptide (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-20
Updated: 2010-05-20
Packaged: 2017-10-09 14:45:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 2,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/88548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/der_tanzer/pseuds/der_tanzer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Twenty-one tiny stories about one significant event.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Scientist Who Believed in Prayer

**Author's Note:**

> Minor violence, a litle drug use, and ultimately, some sex. Not all events apply to all chapters.
> 
> This work originally appeared on LiveJournal and http://riptide.diagonalfiction.com as 21 separate stories. It's been reformatted here into a single fic with 21 chapters for ease of uploading and to simplify reading.

The first time Murray shared a bed with Cody, it was in a motel room in a strange city where Nick was dying. Or maybe not dying, but it felt like it. To him and to his friends, who had no influence here and could not be with him.

They huddled together in the double bed, Cody pretending he wasn't crying and Murray pretending it was okay. _Please, God, let it be okay_.

In the morning, Cody would wash his face, paste on a smile, and be himself. Murray, his pajama top still damp with a strong man's tears, would never be the same again.


	2. Some of the Benefits of Sedation

Nick looked up and smiled as best he could, under the circumstances. For two days he'd been alone in ICU, with no one but family allowed in, and no family to come. It was harder on Cody, who had not been sedated nearly as much, and the first thing Nick saw was his shattered expression. He raised his hand weakly and Cody almost ran to take it.

"They wouldn't let me in," he said, all in a rush. "I tried and tried, honest to God, Nick…"

"I know. Shh, I know."

"Nick?" hesitantly, from the doorway.

"It's okay, Murray. Come in."


	3. Sacramento is a Bad Idea

"I knew Sacramento was a bad idea," Cody said, shaking his head. Nick squeezed his hand and didn't argue. At home, or even in LA, stopping to help a stranger change a tire had never gotten him stabbed in the gut with a K-Bar.

"I'm so sorry, guys," Murray said, for maybe the hundredth time. "It seemed like such an easy case."

"It would have been if I wasn't such a good Samaritan. Next time I decide to help somebody, shoot me."

"We'll never do anything for anyone again," Cody said solemnly. Then he saw Murray's wide eyed shock. "Not really, Boz. It's a joke."

Nick laughed, Cody bent to kiss him, and Murray subsided in confusion.


	4. Nick's Theory of Hospital Days

"I want to go home."

"As soon as you're ready, buddy. You almost died, remember? Take a couple days."

"Hospital days are longer than regular days by at least three to one. Isn't that right, Murray?"

"I know it seems like it," Cody said, saving Murray from having to cope with the joke. He looked like he might be postulating possible equations to explain such a phenomenon. "But it won't be much longer, I promise. And the day they release you, we start driving home."

"All right, but I'm holding you to it. Even if it's afternoon when I get out."

"Even if I have to drive all night."


	5. Brothers on a Motel Bed

The last night in the cheap motel, Murray and Cody slept back to back and neither cried. But Murray woke often, disturbed by the traffic sounds and anxious about going home. He wouldn't miss the city, the motel or the hospital, but he might miss this. Sleeping beside a warm body. It was so nice not to be alone.

He wondered if it would ever happen that someone would want to share his bed full time. If anyone would ever love him the way Cody loved Nick. He knew he was a poor substitute, but it didn't hurt his feelings. In a way, Cody was as well.


	6. Drive All Night

"Man, I thought you were kidding," Cody said, not sounding angry at all.

"I wasn't the one who said it," Nick grinned. "_You_ were the one who promised we'd go home the first day."

"I said we'd _start_. We need to find a place to spend the night. I'm tired, Murray's asleep, and you're supposed to be resting."

"Cody, man, if you can't do it, I will. I need to get _home_."

"Sure, Nick. What's a seven hour drive, anyway? It's not like there's anyone on the freeway at ten o'clock." He turned up the radio and sang along, Murray mumbling counterpoint in his sleep. Nick closed his eyes. He knew they wouldn't let him down.


	7. Midnight Toker

Cody was the only one awake when he pulled into their parking space at the pier. He reached over the back of the seat and shook Murray gently.

"Come help me get him inside, Boz."

"What time is it?"

"After midnight."

They went around to the passenger door and Cody woke Nick. Together, he and Murray hauled him up out of the seat and walked him down to the boat. The red tip of a cigarette glowed in the dark, the sweet scent of pot filling the air.

"Hey, dudes, how was Sacramento?"

"Not a good idea," Cody said quietly. "Go on, Dooley. We're okay."

"But thanks for keeping an eye on things," Murray added.

"No problemo, dudes. Welcome home."


	8. Toughing It Out

The first time Murray shared a bed with Cody at home, Nick was in it, too. Groggy on painkillers and sore from sitting up in the car all that time. No amount of logic could separate him from Cody's side, even so far as the backseat, and he clung to Murray now as well.

"Don't leave me, Boz," he whispered, words he would never say if he weren't more looped than Dooley. "I was alone so long…"

"Sure, Nick of course." Awkward and strange, not sure where he belonged. All three in t-shirts and boxers, Murray and Cody flanking Nick, trying to be comfortable for a man who would have forgotten the request by morning.


	9. Here Comes the Sun

Nick woke slowly, his head aching almost as badly as his injured belly. He lay still, letting his brain catch up. The flat tire, the K-Bar, the hospital. Cody getting him home, just like he promised. Cody, warm and solid in his arms, holding him close. And someone else against his back. Nick craned his neck to see.

Murray, on his side, hands tucked up under his cheek like a child. His too-long legs bent, knobby knees sticking out from under the sheet. Nick wondered why he was there, and if he'd known the answer before. Suddenly last night was all one question that needed answering. But not right now. It wasn't worth waking them.


	10. Things to be Thankful For

"You asked him to stay. Said you'd been alone too much."

"I don't even remember that."

Cody was helping him dress while Murray took a shower and started breakfast. He didn't respond and Nick went on.

"Was that okay with you?"

"It was fine. It's not like we were going to be messing around, anyway."

"I could sure stand a little loving, Cody. No whips and chains, maybe, but _something_."

"Maybe later. Right now, you need to eat. And thank Boz for not talking in his sleep this time."

"Yeah, we should all give thanks for that."


	11. Reality Descends

Murray had breakfast on the table in the galley; ham, eggs and toast for his friends, cereal for himself. Cody held Nick's arm on the stairs and Murray stayed out of the way. His part in this was surely over now. He should have been happy that Nick was home, that Cody could take care of him, that things would be normal again. But in the back of his mind was the echo of that word. _Over. Over._

"You okay, Boz?"

"Yes, Cody. Just a little tired. I think I might take a nap."

"That's a good idea. Nick and I probably will, too."

A likely story. Murray would sleep, but they would not. _They_ had things to do.


	12. Opposite Ends of the Boat

Nick lay trembling, more exhausted than he'd ever been just from receiving a blow job. Shocked at how much his hospitalization had taken out of him. He helped Cody along with weak kisses and a gentle, calloused hand, glad to snuggle beside him and sleep the sleep of the satiated.

Murray was sleeping the sleep of the nervous and sad. Lonely, even. He would have liked to be with them. He had to admit that now. To have them care for him the way they cared for each other. When had that happened? The question haunted his dreams and he woke in the night without having rested at all.


	13. Midnight in the Galley of Good and Evil

Murray poured too much chocolate syrup on his ice cream and then just stirred it around in the bowl. The boat was silent, except for its own boat and water sounds, which had always comforted him, and now made him feel lost at sea. He heard someone leave the aft cabin, go into the head, come out again. Heard footsteps approaching and licked his spoon. He'd gotten his work done, made their supper. Had nothing to feel bad about.

"What are you doing up, Boz?"

"I couldn't sleep."

Cody came closer, leaned over him with that easy, confident smile.

"You okay?"

Murray cupped his face in both hands and kissed him before the smile disappeared.


	14. Murray, Light and Dark

Cody kissed him back before he knew what he was doing. Like it was the most natural thing in the world. Murray tasted of chocolate and, underneath, a hint of vanilla. He was a good kisser and for a moment Cody found heaven in his cool mouth, a reprieve from all his worries. Then he was pulling back, his blue eyes suddenly wide and confused.

For a split second Murray's face was defiant, the expression there and gone so quickly it might have been imagined. A second after that, _he_ was gone. Only the melting ice cream on the table and a trace of chocolate syrup in Cody's mustache remained to prove he had ever been.


	15. Exceptions

"What's up with you, Cody? Did you sleep at all?" Nick was well rested and prepared to nag. Cody was exhausted and cut to the chase.

"Murray kissed me last night."

"Where?" Nick grinned, too cheerful for so early in the morning. For such a big crisis.

"In the galley."

"No, you moron. _Where_? I mean, a kiss on the cheek would be a little weird, but it's no big deal."

"On the mouth, Nick. With tongue. It's wasn't bad, really." Blushing as he pulled a shirt on over his head.

"Except…"

"Yeah, except. What am I going to do?"

"I don't know, man. What do you _want_ to do?"


	16. Bearding the Boz

The table was laid with cereal and fruit, blueberry muffins puffing up in the oven, but Murray was nowhere to be seen. He had heard them coming.

Nick hung back to watch the muffins while Cody bearded the skinny lion in its den.

"Hey, Murray. You coming to breakfast?"

He looked up, blushing hard, and Cody could see his eyelids jittering. Murray on speed.

"You must hate me. Did you tell Nick? Does he hate me?"

"Calm down, Boz. No one hates you. Come and eat with us. We should talk."

"About what? What can you possibly have to say?"

"Whatever you need to hear."


	17. Twisted Heart

If it was possible to die of embarrassment, Murray would have needed to be resuscitated at least three times before he finished buttering his first muffin.

Nick knew everything. It was all over his smirking face. For the first time in his life, Murray hated him. _He got everything_. He was handsome and funny and _everyone_ liked him. People respected him, even though he never went to college, never published a paper of any scientific import, didn't even know the difference between Pi and pie. He got everything, flaunted it shamelessly, and _smirked_. Murray wanted to throw the muffin in his face, and laid down the butter knife before he got any worse ideas.

Then Nick spoke and everything changed.


	18. Resuscitation

"Murray, it's okay."

"What is, Nick?" Uncertainty masked the anger, but his voice still cracked.

"Murray, what did you mean by that last night?" Cody asked. "Was it an impulse or something—else?"

Ducking his head, staring at his hands, he shrugged. Hated how they always turned his righteous anger into childish petulance.

"Murray…?"

"What does it matter? You two are together and I don't—I didn't have any right touching you at all. It doesn't matter why."

"Yes, it does," Nick said. "Because if it was more than a whim, we should talk about that."

"Why?" Still not understanding at all. Cody grinned hugely.

"Because you never get what you want unless you ask for it."


	19. No One's Laughing

"We never guessed you felt that way," Nick said softly. "We just thought you were being cool about us."

He shook his head miserably, wishing again that embarrassment could actually be fatal. He was up to thirteen deaths now.

"It doesn't matter. That's why I never said anything. I'd never try to come between you. That's why I—I can't apologize enough."

"Don't apologize to me," Cody grinned. "You're a great kisser."

"Keep it up," Nick said. "I just wonder why I didn't get a kiss, too. Cody's really rubbing my nose in it."

Murray fell silent, stunned. Nick, jealous? Because of him? That had to be a joke. Then Nick's mouth was on his and the joke was over.


	20. Third Time Pays for All

"You—you really mean it? You'd want—me?"

"We've _always_ wanted you, Boz," Cody said. "We thought you didn't want us."

"I—I never—you never said anything."

"Man, you gotta work on your nonverbal social cues," Nick said seriously. They both shot him a look and he shrugged. "I was in the hospital. I watched a lot of _Donahue_. Anyway, we thought we were being pretty obvious."

"I guess I need to watch more daytime TV. I really never knew."

"Well, now you do," Nick said. "What are you going to do about it?"

The next time Murray shared a bed with his friends, it wasn't awkward at all.


	21. Taking Stock

Murray opened one eye in the breaking dawn, taking a moment to evaluate his condition. A sting on his shoulder blade from someone's teeth. Cody's? No, Nick's. Cody had bitten his ass.

His lips felt swollen and raw, and speaking of raw...He smiled ruefully and closed his eye. Felt bruises on his wrists and biceps, scraped skin and more bruises on his throat. High collared shirt today, then.

Cody was in front of him, which put Nick behind. He hated to play favorites, but he couldn't turn over without disturbing them, so he stretched his arm across Cody's chest and dozed, already growing hard. They would wake soon enough.


End file.
